New Years Resolutions, huh? Yeah, they can be a really good thing, and you can definitely help your members with them confidently!
Resolutions are meant to bridge the gap between our dream lives and our comfortable status quo. However, we often get it wrong. We tend to focus on what makes us cringe about ourselves and vow to change it, without using our values as a compass. Unfortunately, this approach is about as effective as a chocolate teapot.
When we feel shame, we tend to rush into changing and avoiding our feelings. We don’t take the time to understand the underlying emotions driving our behavior. Instead of strategizing, we rely solely on willpower.
Let’s take the gym as an example. If you’ve never been consistent and feel guilty about it, setting a resolution won’t help if you’re not curious about why you’ve been skipping it. You might buy cute workout clothes and schedule gym classes, but without addressing the thoughts and feelings that have kept you away, you’re setting yourself up for failure. That’s why statistically, most people give up on their New Year’s Resolutions within the first 30 days.
When we feel shame, we try to run away from it instead of understanding it. We charge ahead without understanding why we’ve struggled in the past, and unsurprisingly, we continue to struggle.
If you already feel shame about something, especially if it’s been a long-standing issue, you’ve probably subconsciously adopted it as part of your identity.
For example, if someone says, “I am an emotional eater,” without examining their thinking, they probably won’t challenge that identity and will continue to live it out. Our brains prefer consistency, even if it’s not ideal or even if it sucks!
Starting with a negative thought or feeling makes it difficult to create positive change. Instead of moving towards the person you want to be, you’re just trying to move away from the person you are now. It’s like trying to swim away from a shark – you’re not thinking about where you’re going, you’re just trying to get the hell out of there.
So, here’s our pitch: help your members align their New Years Resolutions with their values for positive motivation. Help them identify areas where they’re not living in alignment with these values or check if their existing goals align with them. It doesn’t have to be a long list, just what’s important to them. Then, have them ask themselves where in their life they’re not living in alignment with these values.
For instance, if they listed “regular gym visits” out of guilt but value strength and agility, they will now have a positive reason to stick to this resolution. You’re not just aiming to help them hit the gym, but to help them become a person who values and maintains strength and agility. Now, that’s a resolution worth sticking to!
Doesn’t that feel different?
This will also feel better for your members.
Happy New Year!
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Once tipping the scales at nearly 500 lbs, I've flipped the script and whipped up a life-changing seminar to help fellow coaches and gym owners, on my own terms. I spill the "beans" on my rollercoaster ride to health, my expertise in working with larger bodies, and toss in a mix of resources, tips, and more. Buckle up!